C-PTSD Crisis

Disheveled Early In Admission

My C-PTSD crisis relapsed and I was readmitted back into hospital again almost two weeks ago with memory-loss and panic attack flare-ups from trauma mainly from past abuse, homelessness and other unmentionable things.

I have started recovering again and while this stay will be longer than the last one, this time mistakes from the last discharge have been resolved and more supports are being put in place now to make sure I can come home for good and in a better space than ever soon enough.

I been having some cathartic healing with the trauma that happened to me while I was in vicpah and my pack, old painful friendships have had some closures and some with healing. While been working with a psych about what happened to me when I was homeless before I joined the pup scene.

I am so thankful of everyone who has helped me through this crisis and I could not have survived through this without all your help directly and indirectly.

I am still healing and not out of the woods yet, I am working hard on getting better and setting up safety plans. C-PTSD is a complex beast that’s like your home covered in invisible mouse traps for an indeterminate amount of time, some triggers known, some come as a total surprise as what happened when I rejoined vicpah in early March.

Thank you again for everyone being there for me. To know I have friends who will drop things to help a friend in crisis and even the smallest help all has truly added up and that’s helped me heal through this faster. Someday I’ll go into more details (since I am writing a biographical book of my gender journey 🤣) but for now, thank you for respecting my need of privacy when I’m unable to answer your questions. 

Box Hill Hospital

Sooomeone tried to stop something heavy falling off his lap in the wheelchair. Helping a friend with laying down mulch in their garden. Silly me. Spent two weeks in Box Hill Hospital with a pulled muscle in my back, however my disability exacerbated it. I don’t remember how I got to hospital and I wasn’t fully aware of the situation till after 2 days in hospital (So bad that Morphine and cutting up clothes was needed). But after some complications and finally on the mend, I was able to be discharged, still a lot of rest to follow though! Got some plans to get back into aviary birds, I grew up around them and always missed it since I moved to Auckland in ’96.

I don’t remember this photo being taken. I lost those clothes to the scissors though.
I do however remember this one being taken. Happily.