Dear 14yr old Davin,
Your confused about the world, confused about yourself and what it means in relation to the big wide world out there, that’s okay. I’m here for you. I’m here to share some future advice.
You just tried telling your therapist and parents something big about you. You accepted their answer at face value and terrified from what your therapist has said at being labelled as a sexual deviant and have to leave your family forever. Its okay to feel that way right now and you won’t feel like that forever. Growing up for you has been different than it has been for many other kids and that doesn’t mean your broken or can’t be fixed.
It won’t be long until you don’t have your parents controlling you more than you already know. Just try your best to keep out of trouble till you leave home at the earliest possible moment. Its okay, its not as bad as you think, it will take time to learn to be yourself. You may live with your parents for less than 20 years, but you can do so much more with everything you do in the next 20 after that, let alone the rest of your life.
I know you thought you could take this secret of being a girl on the inside to the grave, and that’s okay. But you will learn what you love in life and find the right moment to step out and be yourself, it may take a while, but don’t ever feel anything is too late in the day, the week, the month, the year, the decade, the life, to do.
Over time you will learn new words and emotions, unlock memories and be true to yourself, even though you don’t know who that is yet, just keep trying and its okay to trust your gut.
There is much advice I can give but you already know it, and please don’t scream at that. The answers make sense when you are old enough, and it’s something you learn that you cannot rush and be “more mature” It doesn’t mean you should ignore it either, do your best and you can sleep easier knowing just that in time.
After all advice, instructions and commandments people give, your journey in the future is your choice still and the right people will see that and those are the ones you will grow with.
You will love and be loved, you will be surprised, and you will be prepared and learn how to adapt.
The best is yet to come, you’ll be okay.
Your Future You